I Will Wait...

I Will Wait By: Amie Sexton I will wait to feel the mighty power of Your hand as it moves I will wait to walk the path that’s sifted through Your fingers of love I will hold my peace in the presence of the only One who knows my every need I will wait on the God who sees I will wait to hear Your voice speak clearly in the stillness of my heart I will watch for the chance to grow in love with You through the wisdom You impart I will make my home in the shelter of the only One who has made me His own I will wait on the God who knows I will seek Your face as the darkness surrounds me I will set my gaze on things above I will find my strength as Your grace abounds within me I’ll delight my heart in the God I love Make my heart’s desire to desire more of You As I wait, as I wait on You This song, written by a dear friend of mine from church, has not only encouraged me in my faith, but has also been a prayer of my heart. I remember hearing those words for the first time many years ago, not realizing that they would be an outline for my testimony in the future. I’ve sang it countless times at church, at home, and along the way…maybe under different circumstances, but with the same goal in mind- to wait and to trust God wholeheartedly. I will wait to feel the mighty power of Your hand as it moves I am humbled and blessed to see the hand of God working in and through my life. I can testify to this even at the young age of five, when I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior. But even before then, God was working out His plan for my life… “For You created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother’s womb…all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:13,16). His powerful hand not only formed me before I was born, but has also guided, ushered, and lifted me in my daily walk with Him. I will wait to walk the path that’s sifted through Your fingers of love Sometimes, I wasn’t quite sure why God’s Hand moved the way it did or why He had me on a certain path...why I was born with a genetic condition that made my hair short and thin, why (in later years) relationships never seemed to work, or why I was always the wedding singer and never the bride. But even when these thoughts would enter my mind, I remembered God’s sovereign and powerful plan (Jeremiah 29:11, Philippians 1:6) and, I remembered my goal in life- to glorify Him. I knew that God was moving in my life…I knew He had a perfect plan and a path for me to travel…I knew He loved me…I knew that He created the whole puzzle (even thought it wasn’t a “puzzle” to Him) while I was just trying to piece it together, unaware of what was to come. My Heavenly Father was going before me guiding me every step of the way. God knew and was moving in my heart when I accepted Him into my life as my Savior, when I was baptized at 10 years of age, when I rededicated my life to Him as a teenager, when I traveled overseas on various missions trips, when I graduated from Moody Bible Institute, when I accepted a teaching position as a Christian school teacher in North Carolina, when I began working as a choir director at church, and when I became lifetime friends with the Rudolph family. I will hold my peace in the presence of the only One who knows my every need Because of the victory I found in Christ, I could live in joy. Because I knew that God would never leave me or forsake me, I could live in safety. Because I trusted in Jesus Christ, I could live in security. Because of Christ’s love for me, I could live in peace. Because of the plan He had for me (and continues to have), I could live in contentment. I love that last line, too, “…the only One who knows my every need”. God knows me better than I know myself. He knows what I need before I do (or, if I ever do!). Each passing year of my life, I began to trust His hand more and more…realizing that He, the God of the Universe, had Emily Poling’s life under control! I will wait on the God who sees The same God who saw my life completely, saw the life of Mike Rudolph and his family. He also saw and ordained the lasting friendships that would form between the Rudolphs and myself… through singing with Amy in the choir, teaching Abbie in 3rd grade and mentoring her in later years, fellowshipping with the family during dinners, game nights, and cook outs, supporting them through life’s most difficult circumstances, and praying for them continually. In His infinite wisdom, God saw and knew. I will wait to hear Your voice speak clearly in the stillness of my heart (In order to understand the rest of the story, if you haven’t read Mike’s blog entry, you will want to do that now). If you don’t know me very well, those that do can tell you that I love to talk. And, no, not to myself, but to people. I love people. In making a big decision, it is tempting for me to grab the phone and talk about it to the fifty “closest” people in my life. Which, by the way, I have done before, and it only left me more confused than when I had originally started. Yikes. Been there…done that…don’t want to do it again. This time, however, it was different. When Mike first approached me with his intentions of pursuing me, I knew that I had to make this a serious matter of prayer. I knew that this was a BIG move for Mike to make. Knowing what kind of man Mike was- godly, wise, and mature- I was at peace trusting that God had a plan in all of this. But, instead of dialing the phone, emailing on the computer, or writing a letter…I took it to the Lord. As a wise friend told me before, “Go to the Throne, before You go to the phone.” I waited…I prayed…I sought the Lord’s direction. I pleaded for Him to let me hear His voice speak clearly in the stillness of my heart. This is part of written prayer that I prayed almost every day: “God, I pray that You would reveal to me Your will- I pray that You would show me which direction to take….God, give me confirmations either way…close the doors- open the doors- SHOW ME!!! I need to hear Your still voice in the night…”. And, after many months…He answered. And, not just in one way, but in MANY ways…countless confirmations from the hand of God. I can say with firm conviction and great joy, “Yes…this is the way that I should go!” To God be the glory! This is HIS story. I will watch for the chance to grow in love with You through the wisdom You impart I am overwhelmed and speechless by how God has orchestrated everything. I could truly go on and on…but, I will also save some of the story for when I can talk to you in person! But, through all of this, God has deepened my walk with Him. He has given me a bigger and better glimpse of His sovereign plan...not specifically, but in trusting His Hand as it moves in our lives. And, through Mike’s love, I also have experienced the love of the Father. I count my self so blessed to be loved by a man of God- one that has great depth, insight, and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. And, no matter what, He chooses to trust Christ. I am humbled to be loved by him, but I am honored to love such a man. Thank You, Father. I will make my home in the shelter of the only One who has made me His own I have found and continue to find my ultimate security in the shelter of the Almighty God. He is my Refuge and Strong Tower. But, now, I see that God has also given me Mike Rudolph to also love and protect me. I will make my earthly home with him…knowing together that the Lord is the foundation and heart of our home. “…As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). I will wait on the God who knows So…what will life look like in 20 years? 10 years? 5? 1? Next month? Tomorrow? I don’t know…but, what I do know is this: God knows. He has proven Himself faithful over and over again. His Hand has guided me and will continue to do so. We will walk together on the path He sets before us…trusting in Him and His sovereign plan. I will seek Your face as the darkness surrounds me I will set my gaze on things above I will find my strength as Your grace abounds within me I’ll delight my heart in the God I love Make my heart’s desire to desire more of You As I wait, as I wait on You Now, in hearing our testimonies, you see there have been times of darkness, weakness, and uncertainties, especially for the Rudolphs. But, through it all, we have sought to trust Christ (not perfectly) and to set our gaze upon Him. The Rudolphs have taught me so much about trust, faithfulness, and perseverance. I am humbled and honored to soon be a part of their family. We want to delight ourselves in the Lord- keeping in mind our purpose on this earth…to glorify Him! He has had us all on quite a journey...but it is not over yet! Lord, may we continue to wait on You, to seek You, and to trust Your Hand as it moves.